It has been a rocky few months. My daughter is 10 . Or rather 10 years old one minute, 7 the next and 16 the next. Oh my I forgot how hard it was growing up. The one thing I hadn’t expected was it bring up all the same feeling I had at that age. I am also shocked how it all crept up on me. Time has just flown by and literally seems like yesterday i was holding my daughter in my arms and promising her I would take care for her forever. I am just not prepared for her to grow up and it is such a bittersweet feeling to watch your children get older.
The last few months we have dealt with the issue of leg shaving. I was against and she was for. She ended up trying one of razors on her own and nicking herself. I felt awful because she felt the need to “sneak” and because she felt like I wasn’t listening to her her or validating her feeling of embarrassment. My biggest objection was cutting herself or leaving a razor lying around for her brother to get at… I admit I also felt sad that she was falling prey to the beauty myth and I had hoped she would forgo that ritual. We ended up going out an buying a battery operated wet/dry razor for around 25.00. ( Not that much more than the price of most razors these days!) She felt good that I respected her choices. It was a lesson well learned by me- this week a razor and in a few years maybe it might be too scared to ask me about sex or protection or how to say no, etc. The thing I value most is communication with my daughter and knowing that my advice and concern comes from a loving place and not one of judgment or disapproval. This is what I strive for most.
The last few month have also brought many tears and changes. I suffer from something called Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder – sort of like PMS times a billion… and I am seeing some of the same things going on with her that I suffered through as a young girl and still do. Back then PMS wasn’t “something” let alone PMDD.. which has its own controversies. I certainly don;t think it it s a mental illness and it can be managed with diet, exercise, meditation and cognitive therapy.
I am able to handle it much better than I used to but took a long time. I really, really had a tough time growing up and as a teen. I had my first period when i was nine and now watching her go through some of the same changes had been hard. It has been gut wrenching. It would embarrass her to to know that I posted about on my blog about her private thoughts and experiences- so I won’t.
I am more posting in case other mother’s are having similar challenges and how there are dealing with them. So far we have been doing a lot of talking about it and coming up with some strategies. Any thoughts would be most welcome.